a message...

.i was lying down on my bed, curled up in a little ball, hugging my pillow while i listened to the angry rain pour down outside my window this morning.

.i stood up, went to my bathroom to wash my face annd went out to the dining room in my pajamas. i sat down and ate my favourite breakfast, chicken nuggets and egg, though i didn't taste it.

.and now i'm back on my bed, curled up in that same little ball, still hugging my pillow though the rain has stopped long ago.

.now, a new storm is quietly forming inside me and my heart can't contain it any longer. i let the tears fall and hope that after the storm, a rainbow would come out.

.the tears have stopped and my eyes are all puffy and red, my breath uneven and i'm still hugging my pillow, though tighter.

.i couldn't get up.

.my strength fails me.

.i look horrible.

.my hair looks like a wild forest, my eyes are red, my cheeks are tearstained and my pajamas are wet.

.why am i like this, you ask?

.let's see.

.who is the person that even though i try not to think of him, i still do? who is that someone who broke my heart with a word and a smile? who is that someone who made me hurt as much as i am hrting right now?.

.wait!.

.isn't that someone you???.

.yes, it's you...the reason for my tears and pain.

.but, ironically, if the tears and the pain are the only things that could keep me beside you, i'd rather cry and hurt forever.